The Spam Manifesto: Reactive Spamming, Big Spam, Spam Reduce

Dear Spammers,

SpamInACanWhen blogging and interacting with our users on forums, dealing with your spam is part of our every day work. Our WordPress blog luckily uses Akismet, a comment spam prevention tool, which removes lots and lots of spam, such that our moderation efforts stay very low. Google Groups, on the other hand, uses Google’s own awesome spam filter, which works impeccably in GMail already. But unfortunately, we have to perform quite a bit of moderation as there are an incredible number of Chinese spammers.

Who are these spammers? Who spends so much time in developing robots for stuff that doesn’t really work as most mail / blog vendors have awesome counter-measures? You’re just wasting your time without any actual conversion!

To make things worse, blog software renders many links as “nofollow”, so even if a spam comment slips through, you won’t get the conversion. You spammers are obviously in the tech stone age, perhaps writing your spam software in COBOL or Delphi?

Let us help you get up to date with recent developments. I’ve had a brief discussion with Petri Kainulainen on the subject, and we think that there should be a new

Spam manifesto

We would like to introduce Reactive Spamming. We believe that Hipster Spammers could take the lead and greatly benefit from fancy tech such as Clojure, Akka and Hadoop. Imagine implementing SpamReduce or MapSpam algorithms on BigSpam. Gartner will certainly feature you on their tech radar. We’ll create SpamConf, a great conference where brilliant minds of our time can discuss the latest in spamming, and the Groovy folks will present their new SpamDSL, to help you express your algorithms in FluentSpam.

And now, for some background info about Spam.

How to Make Your Advertisement Look Like Spam

I had experienced ZeroTurnaround‘s marketing and sales before, and I thought it was a bit agressive, although their products seem really nice and cool, so I had forgiven them at the time… However, looking at the numerous links to their product JRebel on CodeRanch just looks like quite offending spam to me. Consider an arbitrary question:
http://www.coderanch.com/t/294530/JDBC/databases/NullPointerException-stmt-executeUpdate

The question is about a silly NullPointerException and its answer is straightforward. Now the JRebel link at the bottom:

I agree. Here's the link
I agree. Here’s the link…

“I agree. Here’s the link” – Whatever. Completely off-topic, no? It looks as though CodeRanch had a spam filtering problem which was exploited by a decent company selling decent products. Why would they do that? Well, I understand that being able to put your link on one of the Top 20 Java Websites can be good for search engine optimisation. But making it look like spam will probably start pissing off potential customers, no?

The crazy thing is, it really isn’t spam, it’s a regular advertisement on CodeRanch. Scroll down on this question here:
http://www.coderanch.com/t/376762/java/java/ArrayList-maintain-order

I’m really curious if this advertisement works out for ZeroTurnaround! I’m also curious about your opinion, and whether you also think this is spammy.